纪念日：3.11
Dear Detectives, art and photography might cure his pain temporarily, but what Joseph wants is proof of his existence! Let's wish the Photographer a wonderful character day!
“光，是最好的画笔。”
2020 无法寄出的家书
An Unsent Letter (2020)
Dear Claude,
It didn't rain today, yet it's chilly, just like the day you left.
I'm sitting in my study, many years after, writing a letter that will never be delivered. It seems silly, but I can't control myself today.
You and I spent all the seasons together, year after year, until that winter.
The roads began to steepen, yet you were waiting for spring to come with hope while the horrible angel of death awaited.
He took you with him and left. He took many with him and left, to a world I couldn't go nor understand.
I even began to blame myself. Why did I survive in this freezing spring?
I missed you, my dear brother. Yet when I stand in front of the mirror, day by day, the face looking back at me has begun to feel foreign. How do I obtain memories that even time can't take away? Will I remember you forever? Will I remember the people I love and admire forever?
You'll never answer me now. My heart broke when I came to such a realization.
You said spring will always come, just like the clouds can never block the sun's brilliance.
From that day onward, I could never enjoy spring without you.
What must I remember? Someone must remember.
Those disasters, those illnesses, those lives lost, those people who should have welcomed spring with us...
I want to remember them all.
Your brother,
Joseph
亲爱的克劳德:
今天没有下雨，却仍然保留着你离去那天的寒意。
我坐在书房里，隔着遥远的时光，写一封永远不可能寄出去的信。看起来有点蠢，但在今天，我无法控制自己。
你和我，曾经共同走过四季的路，一年又一年，直到那个冬天。我们所走的路开始偏斜，你仍然满怀希望等待着春天，可怕的死神却站在前方。
他带着你离去了，带着许多人离去了，去我无法到达也无法看清的世界。
我甚至有些责怪自己，为什么，在这个寒意料峭的初春，是我活了下来。
我想念你，亲爱的兄弟。可当我站在镜子前面，日复一日镜中的面孔却逐渐变得陌生。即使时光也不能夺走的记忆，该如何获得呢?我可以永远记得你吗?我可以永远记得那些可爱可敬的人们吗?
你再也不会回应我了，意识到这一点时总让我心碎。
你说春天始终会再来，正如乌云无法永远遮蔽太阳的光辉。
只是从那天起，我再也无法享受那些没有你的春天了。
我必须记住什么，总有人应该记住什么。
那些灾难，那些疾病，那些逝去的生命，那些本应一同迎接春天到来的人们……
我想全部记住。
你的兄长
约瑟夫
2021 最后一封信
The Last Letter (2021)
Elliot, my friend:
I have made up my mind. You can save your breath.
She must be still alive somewhere in this manor. I'll find her and get her out. Not to mention that I've already gained the butler's trust. I can't just back out at this point. However, just as you predicted, this is no ordinary manor. As for that staggering old gentleman, his gentle smile is just a facade.
He spends an hour in the studio every day looking at those papers with doodles without a word. I checked out those papers in secret and found nothing special about them, except that the doodles were drawn by the same person. It's someone called Claude, yet whenever I tried to bring him up in conversations, everyone in the manor became evasive.
Apart from the time he spend in the studio, the old man seldom leaves the darkroom in the basement. As you know, that's where he processed his photographs. Yet no matter how passionate he is about photography, the hours he spends down there are simply too long.
I also found out that he wasn't this crazy in the past. Things took a turn when he came back from a journey to somewhere far away. No one knows what happened during the trip, save that he brought back with him a number of mysterious books. From then on, the old man spent all days in the darkroom and shut everyone out. I think that's also when old people and children began to go missing in town.
Something's up with this place. No one will believe otherwise!
The thing is, no one in this manor has ever questioned or discussed this! Perhaps their fear of the unknown trumps their curiosity, or the manor's command trumps all?
Anyway, I'll slip into the darkroom tomorrow night. I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm determined to open that door...
All the best,
Macaulay
吾友艾略特:
我心意已决,你不必一而再再而三地劝我。
她一定还活着,就存在于这个庄园的某个角落。我会找到她,带上她一起出来。
何况我已取得老管家的信任,不可能在这种阶段抽身而退。
不过,确实如你最初猜测的那样,这里绝不会只是一个普通的庄园,至于那位沟壑纵横、步履蹒跚的乡绅老爷,谦和可亲的笑脸也许只是他虚假的对外面具。
老人每天会花一个小时待在画室里,对着那几张破损的涂鸦纸静默不语。我偷偷检查过,这些涂鸦画除了都出自一人之手外,并无异常。此人名叫克劳德,可每当我旁敲侧击问及时,庄园内的人都讳莫如深。
除此之外的大部分时间,老人都待在地下暗室。你知道的,就是他处理相片的地方。可是,即便他再热爱摄影,这时长是否也太不寻常了些?
我又打听到,老乡绅以前并没有那么疯狂。—切的转折点,源自一次远游,没人知道他远游时遇到了什么,只知道他回家时拿了许多神秘学的书籍。自那之后,老人就整日整夜把自己关在暗室里,还不允许下人入内。好像也是从那个时候起,镇子上出现了老人小孩离奇失踪的怪事。
要说那个地方没有问题,傻瓜都不信!
然而,庄园内居然没有任何人提出疑问或者讨论这件事?不知是对未知的恐惧压过了本能的好奇,还是当真主人的命令高于一切?
总之,明晚,我会潜进地下暗室。我不知道前方等着我的是什么,但我已决心推开那扇门……
祝安
麦考利
2022 由信纸订成的日记
A Diary Made from Stationery Paper (2022)
As the tangerine sun sinks below the horizon, it casts a fragments light upon the dried remains of fallen fruit. The world continues along its immutable cycle of seasons, as predictable as the constellations in the skies above...
The vicissitudes of life bring meaning to all existence and fill it with a glamor that persists even beyond death's inevitable call. Endless routine only makes us lose our passion for the new and the unknown. For some reason, these are the thoughts that have filled my waking moments as of late.
Perhaps it has been too long since I ventured out of the mirror's realm, and I have yet to ascertain the truth of the world around me.
Like a man who yearns for greener pastures yet fails to realize the beauty and merit of fields lie beneath his feet...
Or perhaps, it is simply that more and more people react to the mirror far differently than I expected. They say that even if you are undeniably correct, you will still doubt yourself if the entire world curses your name.
I distinctly recall a young man from many years ago by the name of Eckhart... Or was it Elliot? Or maybe Elton...? It matters not. He was not the first to take offense to my experimentation, but he was certainly the most rational and vocal about it.
I had no desire to listen to his sermons about the deceased or the meaning of life and time. The longer I live, however, the more I find myself recalling his words.
Why? Why don't they understand? Life is a gift, a wondrous blessing that should end as poetically as it begins. For this reason, when a person faces their own end, they should be grateful, even ecstatic, at the opportunity to have their final moments immortalized.
Why do so many choose to grow old, to lose their youthful beauty, ~... All this is beyond me.
Could it be that my experiment truly is flawed?
Indeed, there is but one thing, and one thing alone, that could make me acknowledge the failure of my endeavors. And that would be... If you never came back to me.
You, who lies so near and yet so far away who can only smile and laugh silently as I toil in solitude.
No... My experiment is not flawed. It is proceeding swimmingly; I need only wait patiently, and everything will come full circle soon enough.
When that day finally comes, and you finish reading up to this point perhaps then you can tell me Claude... In which year you were in my photograph, eternally?
日沉弥漫的橘，破碎镜像的光影，干枯后脉络毕现的黄果酸浆，流转变换的寒暑春秋与星辰轨迹……
动态的变迁赋予了生死以意义，制造出生活之外的所谓浪漫，而亘古不变的重复会让人失去对新鲜的热情。
——不知为什么，最近我常思考这些。
也许是我太久没有从虚假的镜像中出来，没有认真去看看身边的真实。
就像人们总是梦想远方的玫瑰园，却不去欣赏盛开于窗前的玫瑰花。
又或许是，越来越多人对永恒镜像的反应与我所期待的大相径庭。
不是有人说，当世上所有人都指责你的过错，即便你是正确的，久而久之，你也会怀疑自已。
我仍然记得很多年前那名自称艾考特的青年……或许是艾利特，艾略特……算了，名字不重要。他不是第一个对我的实验做出控诉的人，却是最理智最啰嗦的一个。
我确实不想听那些关于逝者关于沉沦的心理开导言辞，或者关于时间与生活的意义，但活得越久，越会让人忍不住回想起他的话。
可是他们为什么不能明白，生命本就该诗意而来，不该臃肿地收尾。所以成为“永恒国”子民的那一刻，他们该要满怀感激地，享受瞬间诗意的定格。
为什么他们大多数人宁愿选择老去，选择丑陋，选择挣扎在灵魂也无法安息的现实中？
难道实验真的是错误的吗？
是了，有一点，仅此一点，会让我承认实验的失败。
那就是你还没有真正回来。
现在的你，在我触手可及的地方，却只会安静地笑。
对，我的实验没有错，也许我能等到实验彻底成功的那天，让一切达成圆满。
也许那天，当你阅读到这里时，能亲口告诉我这个问题的答案：克劳德，这是你我定格在光影中的第几年？
